So Your Misses Got Hyperemesis (Gravidarum)
Chapter 3: Get Ready For...
Part 2: What to Expect When You’re Expecting an HG Pregnancy
Here are some of the things you should expect if your partner is suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum:
Your Wife is About to Go Through a Challenging Time
There’s no easy way to say it. Hyperemesis gravidarum, even in mild cases, is a terrible pregnancy complication. Your wife is expected to suffer from almost constant nausea, severe and frequent vomiting, many hospital visits, tests, treatments, and IV fluids. It’s reasonable to assume she will be hospitalized at least once or twice. Your wife won’t be able, or will find it extremely difficult, to function in almost all areas of life. She will need a lot of support from you, both physically in caring for her, and emotionally.
Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a Family Disease: You're About to Become a Caregiver and Go Through a Challenging Time As Well
Since your wife will be busy suffering, you’ll need to take care of her and the rest of your household. In other words, there’s a lot on your plate.
Since this is about to happen whether you like it or not, the best thing you can do is take a deep breath and embrace the new role that has come your way. Most people in the world, at some point in their lives, will become caregivers for close family members, or will be cared for by a close family member. It’s a fact of life. It’s one of the reasons we establish families, consciously or unconsciously – so that there’s someone to take care of us.
Now it’s your turn.
Your wife may be suffering from the hyperemesis gravidarum, but this complication affects the entire family. You’re simply experiencing it differently, each in their own way.
Hyperemesis Gravidarum Means a High-Risk Pregnancy
Here’s another thing we didn’t know about hyperemesis gravidarum, and no nurse or doctor told us untill very late in the pregnancy: a pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidarum is a high-risk pregnancy. The risks to your wife and the baby, unfortunately, are numerous. Your wife is at risk of dehydration, malnutrition, early contractions, premature birth, blood clotting issues, teeth problems, esophagus problems, and other complex medical issues.
In other words, hyperemesis gravidarum is a pregnancy complication that can lead to various additional complications that directly endanger the health of your wife and the fetus.
So, be prepared that you are experiencing a high-risk pregnancy. Stay alert for changes in your wife’s condition.
Also, seek a doctor specializing in high-risk pregnancies as soon as possible.
Work and Money With HG
With hyperemesis gravidarum, your spouse won’t be able to work, or will have a very hard time doing so. Expect that the income she brings home will be reduced or completely gone.
Moreover, it’s likely that the income you bring home will also be affected. This is because you’re expected to invest a lot of time in taking care of your wife and won’t be able to work as usual.
This means you need to financially prepare for the duration of the pregnancy.
For us, work and money during our HG pregnancy was very challenging. I own a business and work mostly from my home office. But since I spent most days taking care of my wife, I had to catch up with work in the evenings after she fell asleep. We cut expenses as much as we could. Our quality of life was impaired. At times we didn’t have enough to pay all our bills.
At some point, my parents realized that the pregnancy we were going through was harder than usual, and without me asking, my dad simply transferred me some money.
At first, I hesitated and said there was no need. My dad said it was a gift and that I could do whatever I saw fit with the money. So, I put the money in savings, intending to repay my dad. Several weeks passed. My wife still didn’t work, and I fell behind on my duties to clients in a troubling way. I realized I had to put aside my pride and use the money my dad sent us.
It was the right decision. Pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidarum is expected to affect the family’s finances. Accept any financial help you can get.
Taking Care of Your Children During an HG Pregnancy
If you have children, your spouse won’t be able to take care of them, or will have very little energy for them.
You, the partner, will need to be more involved in the day-to-day care of the children. If you have a support network, like grandparents, siblings, or friends you trust – now is the time to ask for their help.
If you don’t have a regular babysitter, now is the time to find one.
More to come on taking care of children during pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidarum
Driving with Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Your wife won’t be able to drive. It’s likely you’ll serve as her driver many times.
Driving will also be difficult for her as a passenger. The bumps and turns can worsen her nausea and cause vomiting. Before any trip, consider whether it’s necessary.
Social Life with Hyperemesis Gravidarum
It’s reasonable to assume that your wife won’t have much energy for friends and family. That’s understandable. She’s dealing with relentless nausea, fatigue, hunger, and physical weakness.
All this means that a significant portion of the emotional support she needs will have to come from you. And if a friend or family member wants to visit, make sure the meetings are relatively short. For example, we kept visits to no more than an hour.
Food and Eating with Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Your wife will struggle to eat. Severe nausea will turn many smells and favorite foods into unbearable ones.
Your wife may be able to eat small amounts of certain foods, which you’ll need to figure out. It will be difficult for her to prepare food for herself or even to go to the kitchen. Be prepared to make trips to the fridge for her.
Even after you’ll find which foods she can have, your wife will find it difficult to eat, and even more so to drink, and every meal becomes a harrowing adventure.
We’ll talk more about food and eating with HG later on.
Managing the household with hyperemesis gravidarum
Your wife won’t be able to help with managing the household. Cleaning, laundry, shopping, organizing, bank calls, garage visits – you will have to take care of household chores.
If you can, ask for help from your parents, in-laws, friends, or other people who care about you. If you can afford it, consider hiring paid assistance